Months later, but here I am. I told myself I wouldn’t post any bs on here, from the start I wanted this to be a genuine space. I wanted to be able to be transparent and me, but I didn’t want this to only be an angry place and for the past few months every single time I drafted a post it was me venting, wanting to bash someone who did me wrong or a post about something that should be a conversation instead – so I didn’t post them. I took my own advice and had tough conversations, channeled my frustrations with things and people into positive, productive ways.
The past few months have been a serious eye opener, some of the people I thought were closest to me proved to be disloyal, and others were there for me more than I could have ever imagined. I was truly hurt to lose a friendship that I held close to me, but when people are upset they reveal who they really are. Years of memories, conversations, and being there for someone can turn into a text argument with things said that makes you think ” damn, do I really know this person?”. One thing I take seriously is friendship and I rather be alone and enjoying my own company than spending my time being there for people who treat people who actually did them wrong better than they treat you. These days I’ve learned how to separate the people who are there from the people who are there for me. I have come to learn that sometimes we will have people who are around to hang with because they’re fun and always down for a good time, and then there are people who you can pour your heart out to, tell the most embarrassing stories, and always count on them when you truly need someone. It’s okay to have associates, but don’t make the mistake of thinking everyone around is your friend. I make people earn the title of a friend because I have crossed paths with far too many people who don’t know what it truly entails to be a friend to someone.
I gave up on dating, This day and age it’s hard to trust men, they go to great lengths to be deceitful. It’s hard to differentiate between the facade guys display on social media and who they really are. There are so many men acting like Steve Harvey and relationship therapists online, but not keeping that same energy while they’re wasting your time, so I prefer to invest my time elsewhere. These men will be here and if all else fails I’m prepared to be the cool aunt traveling the world living my best life.
It could all be simple, why complicate things? Be there for people who show up for you. Love people who give you love. Invest your time in those who make time for you. It’s an invigorating feeling to live without overthinking.
xoxo India Clayton